I've blown a few things in my day
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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