i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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