My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
