Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
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I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
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I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
We talked him into tasing himself.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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