I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.