They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
