sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.