I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.