8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.