I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.