I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
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