I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
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I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
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I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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