Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
