when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
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btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
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I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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