I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
