I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
