whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
