No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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