hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize
