Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
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She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
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peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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