areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Randomize
