Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
