Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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