I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
