My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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