Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
