Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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