You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
