i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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