bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize
