but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
