1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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