I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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