Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
