I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
