Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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