I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
