You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
