nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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