they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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