Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
