He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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