chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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