drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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