you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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