Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
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