saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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