maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
