It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize