only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
