we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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