I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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