I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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