just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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