K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
