Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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