On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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