So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
