I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
