Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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