Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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