I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Be still, my beating vagina.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
